Taking on Amazon

(NOTE: This is a link to a New York Times piece on a small publisher that is taking on Mighty Amazon:http://finance.yahoo.com/news/daring-cut-off-amazon-140209029.html )

When I was in high school so many years ago, I remember one day in Philosophy class we discussed the difference between being brave and being foolhardy. While I can't remember what, if any, conclusions we reached, I would imagine we probably decided that success or failure ultimately defined the difference.

That certainly came to mind when I read a New York Times article (link above) about a daring small publisher, Educational Development Corporation, which decided to take Amazon over the pricing of books.

Much like with mom and pop grocery stores that were on every street corner when I was growing up, the big stores -- and ultimately, the Wal-Marts of the world -- drove the into extinction. That could certainly happen with small publishers and brick-and-mortar bookstores in the future, thanks to huge companies like Amazon.

That would be sad. Price isn't the only thing customers are looking for in a reading experience. It's also having a knowledgeable person discuss books with you, booksinging and meeting authors, and getting together with other readers. All those sorts of things get lost when companies like Amazon drive others out of the market.

That impacts me as both a reader and a writer, and the prospect saddens me.

Read the article and make up your own mind.

But in the meantime, thanks for reading and keep writing.

Finding an agent? WTF does it take?

As much as I can, I try to stay positive in my blog postings but at the same time try to state how I feel at any given moment. And I try not to curse too much. (The sermon at church yesterday was on James 3: 1-12, which deals with the evil of one's tongue -- how the same tongue can sing the praises of God and also curse man, who is made in the image of God.)

That having been said, WTF does it take to find an agent? I have worked on my query letter. I have done the research. I am professional and business-like. I don't curse (at least not in a query letter). WTF does it take?

I got two rejections already this morning. Now I know what you are about to say. "Rejections are part of the process." "Everyone gets rejected." "Agents reject 98 percent of all the queries they get."

Shut the f*** up. I know all that. I'm not as big an idiot as I look.

I expect rejections. Really. I do. But I also hope and pray for a little light at the end of the tunnel and I don't seem to be seeing any. One rejection in a day I can handle. Two starts to get a little dicey. Three in a day will send me to bed. And four in a day? Hasn't happened but I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't end up in a psych ward.

I did get three in a day last week and it wasn't pretty. So with two already today, I'm a little on edge.

I always send off a thank you note to an agent after a rejection. Sounds stupid, I know, but I want to do my part to encourage agents to answer writers even if it is to say no. After I thanked the agent this morning, I got a note back saying she rejected me because they handle children and youth adult books.

Now I was totally confused. Because I read every word of her agency's website and under her bio it stated that she "is especially looking for horror, ghost, mystery, thriller and dystopian tales."

I have no idea what it's gonna take. I truly don't. What am I to do? What am I to think?

Well, I have more letters to get out today and so that's what I'll do.

And now you have it. Thanks for reading. (Glad someone reads my stuff.) And keep writing.

P.S. No. 3 came this afternoon, a bit late, I'd say. So I assume someone was late getting to the office this morning and didn't have time to send me a rejection until mid-afternoon. Three rejections in a day is my personal best -- it happened last Wednesday, too -- but I have so many queries out there it wouldn't be hard to top it.
mbd

P.S.S. I got No. 4 at four minutes to midnight, thus setting a new personal best. Amazingly, I don't feel bad about it. I got a lot of support from friends and writing colleagues during the day. Now we will have to see what Tuesday brings.
mbd

I'm confused

I have been away and have been busy in the last week, which is why I haven't posted for a while. And in the last week I have also been doing some soul-searching regarding my career.

No, I don't doubt my decision regarding the pursuit of a fiction writing career. But I have been thinking about the execution.

I don't believe a person needs a fine arts undergrad or post-graduate degree to be a good writer. But I also don't approach my writing with the same technical understanding of the craft as someone with a BFA. I don't approach a story thinking about the technical aspects, such as how to raise the personal stakes for my protagonist or with how to create tension.

I don't contemplate how I create conflict and with whether there is enough conflict for the main character to overcome.

I just write. And when I finish, I look at it and re-write it and re-write it until it feels right to me. (Or I get totally tired of it.)

Writing is hard and involves a lot of effort. That effort is quite personal to me. But I don't feel that someone reading my fiction is somehow peering through a looking glass into the deepest reaches of my soul. I don't feel vested in my stories in that way. They are fiction. They are make-believe. I am real. And I am somewhat removed from my fiction as a result.

I love some of my characters. I hate some of my characters. Actually, some of my characters are me. But they are fictionalized accounts of me -- vested with my best traits or the best of characteristics that I wished I had. And again, they are not me.

Perhaps it is because of my lack in introspection and knowledge of the technical aspects of the craft that is standing in the way of my career advancing. Perhaps that is why I don't have an agent -- the partials display my imperfections for all to see.

I don't know. And because I don't know, I have no idea how to proceed. What do I do? What must I do to improve?

I am not so discouraged as I am at a loss. I am confused. I don't know what to do next. I just know I have to keep trying.

And so I will.

And so should you.

B.I.C.

Yesterday, I wasn't in the mood to write, or do much of anything else. And I blogged about that.

Now today I have the same problems I had yesterday -- unpublished, tight finances, poor freelance prospects at the moment, weeds in the yard, nutty children, a dog that peed in the sunroom -- and the day before that and all of last week. I am listening to the same music (which I still love, by the way).

But I don't feel the same way today about life or about work. True, I felt a little down this morning but a drive on a sunny day to vacuum out the car and some strawberry ice cream at lunch cured that. This morning I spent time on a freelance project and this afternoon I called an editor with a couple of story ideas. I am also going to work on the marketing for the anthology and do some writing.

Yesterday I chalk up as a Personal Day.

Now it seems that Nathan Bransford, a literary agent whose blog I sometimes read, posted a blog entry yesterday on the work of writing. He called it Willpower and he mentioned B.I.C. -- Butt in Chair. I didn't see the posting until today after I saw my wonderful friend Megan Bostic post it on Facebook. It was the right topic for me on the right day.

Writing is hard, whether you enjoy it or now. And Nathan is right. If you only write when you feel inspired, it will take 100 years to write a novel.

Janet Evanovich, an author I enjoy and admire, says that writing is a job. And to get it done, you have to show up at work. That means you work when you feel inspired and you work when you don't.

Non writers do have this romantized view of the craft in which the writer is struck by a certain inspiration and goes off to the typewriter to bang out something brilliant. And regardless of the length they stay there writing until it's done. That, of course, isn't how things generally work. Writing is more perspiration than inspiration. As Nathan said, If writing is always fun you may be doing it wrong.

Now as for yesterday, let me put it into perspective.

Every 9-to-5 job I have ever had gave you days off. Holidays, sick days, personal days, vacation days. I work for myself and I have decided that yesterday was a personal day. And I am only allowing myself one. Today is a work day.

Thanks for reading. Now get off your butt and get back to work.

Discouragement II

I haven't written about discouragement for some time and that's probably because I haven't particularly felt that way and I had other things I wanted to say.
Today, however, is different. I am feeling discouraged and I can't seem to shake a degree of sadness.
I have no real reason to feel this way. I didn't get a rejection today. In fact, I have several reasons to feel upbeat. BEDLAM AT THE BRICKYARD is close to publication and I learned today the two editors will be interviewed on a local television station four days before our launch party in May.
I didn't arrange for the interview but I am making progress with other promotions I have for the book.
But I was also doing some research today in Jim Herman's book guide to publishers and agents and once again was struck with the enormity of the task of getting published.
Money is tight and I don't have any new freelance writing prospects. I am playing music I love but it isn't particularly cheerful. Normally, that isn't a problem but today . . .
I don't feel like reading. I don't feel like writing. I don't feel like driving my MG. I am just down.
(And I can't seem to get the weeds out of the yard.)
I don't know what I am going to do, except possibly reread some favorite part of one novels or short stories. That generally helps but I don't feel like doing that either.
Writing is hard. But feeling like I am not progressing is harder.
I know this feeling will go away sooner or later. I am generally an optimistic person. But today I can't shake that ugly feeling.
So there is my tale of woe. Now you get back to writing.

Discouragement

Note: I am tempted to edit this, something I didn't do when it was originally written. I was angry and frustrated that day, and this posting shows that in how it's written. But I want it to reflect who I am and how I am feeling on any particular day so there are no corrections here. mbd, 2/23/09

I am feeling discouraged today, thought not for any perticular reason. I have my new Writer's Digest, which generally cheers me, but not today.

I am struck yet again by how enormous the task is of getting published and then of getting noticed so that you can sell books. Even in a good economy, which isn't the case at the moment, getting published is difficult.

On one of the ABNA threads yesterday, another aspiring writer compiled a list of some three dozen agents whom he had cross-referenced in Publisher's Marketplace for being the best in helping debut authors and who had gotten the best overall deals for mystery, crime, thriller and suspense writers. Some I didn't know, such as Deidre Knight, while others I was afraid to query, such as David Gernert (who has represented John Grisham).

But others I have queried and none have sent a response. What am I, chopped liver? I write well, my book ideas are good and original. Why is this so hard for me?

I have sent out five queries in the last week, and plan more today and tomorrow. I know I can't give up hope but sometimes, like now, it just seems so hard.

Thanks for reading and keep writing.

The hump

There is a point when I am writing a novel when I reach a hump. It is the point when the pure excitement of the project faces the realitiy of the enormity of it. It's usually around 18,000 words when I begin to think,"Oh my gosh, how in the world am I ever going to reach 80,000 words?"

It is a point where a good bit of discipline and a good work ethic would help. I have little of either and, unfortunately, I have reached the hump. A little early this time -- I'm at 16,000 words in "The Death of Art" -- but it's here.

To make matters worse, I am feeling insecure about "A Murderous Dispatch" material I sent to ABNA.

I was just on one of the Amazon discussion boards and an author who made the semis last year, re-worked the novel and entered it again this year is pulling out because she found an agent AND a publisher. I went back and read her pitch from last year and it really was good. Far more informative and engaging than what I wrote this year. You could really tell how her life experiences living in Central America helped her in writing her book.

I am always happy when a new author gets published. It is such a long hard road and it inspires me. But it also makes me afraid I will never achieve the same level of success. (Seems like I'm having it both ways, doesn't it?)

It's a beautiful day outside and I have both some writing and querying to do but all I feel like doing is getting back in bed and pulling up the covers.

But I will just have to focus on writing. I know what is coming next and it is exciting. I just have to motivate myself. Plus I need to work on those queries.

So I will be going. Thanks for reading. And don't give up.

Resolutions

I was reading the blog for the Newbie's Guide to Publishing today and was reminded yet again not to sweat the stuff I can not control, which, unfortunately, can be a lot. But it also encouraged me to reexamine my goals for 2009 and do the things I can control.

All of the goals I have for the year are obtainable solely by me, except one -- finding an agent. I can put myself in a position to get an agent through query letters, contacts with other writers, attending conferences and the like. But I can't control whether I get one.

So I am changing my agent goal to the number of queries I send out and am specifying my blog writing to 12 a month, which was the original goal.

If you do what you can control you can skip the excuses for not getting it done. But you also can totally accept the success of accomplishing what you set out to do. It doesn't mean there won't be disappointments. But it will end the blame game.

Thanks for reading and keep writing.

Confidence

This is a balance between having confidence in your idea and your work and in being open suggestions and to criticism. But finding that balance can be a challenge.

I like "Death at the Jungle-bunny Journal." I think it is funny and compelling and an interesting read. But is that enough to get an agent? A publisher? Is it good enough to withstand the rigors of a writing competition?

I'm not sure. And so I am pouring over Jungle-bunny, chapter by chapter, looking for those elements that can make it unsaleable. But I find myself greatly second-guessing myself. I spend several hours yesterday rewriting the opening of the novel only to find it uninteresting and unfocused. So, I am throwing all that work out.

As I learn more and read more closely, I find my final draft is generally good but could use some tighter editing. That is my goal. But in the end I second-guess myself. Am I doing the best thing? The correct thing? I don't know.

I feel lost again. I need it to be the best it can be before Feb. 2, the opening day for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel contest, but time is short and I'm uncertain as to what to do. Advice is often conflicting and can undermine confidence. But without it, you are shooting in the dark.

Once again I don't know what to do. Only that something needs to be done. I just can't find the balance between confidence and openness.

Thanks for reading and keep writing.

The Death of Art

Last week wasn't a good week for me from a personal perspective. There were some things going on that tremendously clouded my focus and undermined my attention. One would think that work -- in this case, writing -- would help but I was too unfocused.

And then my new material was due on Friday to the members of my critique group and I had to decide what type of writer am I. Can I work when I'm totally unmotivated or not?

I wrote.

I wrote the next chapter in "The Death of Art," which, in this case, is Chpter 3. I wrote 3,300 words over about 10 hours, including the time I took to attend my youngest daughter's high school football game. (She is a cheerleader.)

The due date for the material was Friday and, unfortunately, I didn't finish before midnight. I didn't finish until about 1 in the morning. But I sent it so they would have it first thing Satuday morning.

I feel a sense of accomplishment for getting it done. It wasn't brilliant, of course. It was a first draft. But the work got done and, while not perfect, it is still pretty good.

I guess this coming Saturday I will learn how good (or bad) it is. But the most important thing is that I got it done. And that is one of the first characteristic that define a writer or a wannabe. A writer gets it done.

So that's it for the moment. Those are my thoughts. Thanks for reading and don't give up on writing.

The prospect of facing rejections

I am a bit depressed today and worried. And yet in a short time I must gird up my loins for the assault on my ego. Rejections.
I hate rejections and I don't take them well. I know you are not suppose to take them personally but I often do. I got a rejection for some freelance work today. I was surprised. I hadn't expected it. I will sure I would get some work. But sorry, Charlie.
And I took it like a man -- or more appropriately, like a professional. Like the professional that I am. I e-mailed a thank you back to them for considering me although I wanted to tell them to just go fuck off.
So now I am playing "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" over and over, depressed and sad, and contemplating my fiction and what's coming next.
I e-mailed an author friend today who is in my critique group and asked for some help with my query letter. She said just submit it with my other material when my turn comes up again in the group. But that won't be for another TWO FREAKIN' MONTHS. I have worked on this query for about two months and I have no intention of waiting another two months before I send out some queries.
I feel like I have labored so long and hard, and that I'm still lost somewhere in a forest with no one to turn to. It's depressing. I don't know what to do.
I love to escape into my stories, reading and rereading over and over again the parts that I love, such as the scene in "Death at the Jungle-bunny Journal" where it is revealed who Charlotte is. Or in "Fighting Chaos" when Brewster meets with his old buddy in the FBI.
But I can't just live in the past in those stories. I must move forward. I just don't know how best to do that. And all the while I keep playing "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" because it is sad and it's how I feel.
I think fiction is my future. I certainly hope so. I hope I am ready for it when it comes.
In the meantime, thanks for reading. And don't give up on writing.

Feeling hopeful

I have been feeling unusually hopeful for the last couple of days. Nothing in particular has changed. I still have tons of work to do before I head to vacation. I still haven't sold "Fighting Chaos" but I believe that time will come. I still don't have a lot of cash. That's a bummer.

But I am feeling great. I am preparing the first two chapters of "Death at the Jungle-bunny Journal" to post on tNBW and for another writer in Sisters in Crime to critique. I use 12-point type in Times New Roman and each page is about 300 words. tNBW allows a maximum of 5,000 words to be posted and last night I edited the first and second chapters down to under 5,000 words, meaning I cut more than 12 percent. And it still reads well.

I always figure when I'm finished with a first draft it will be 15 percent to 20 percent too long. So, I am close to being on target with the novel, at least so far.

My short story is nearly done, but it is only 1,600 words. I want it perfect because it is for a contest.

I am reading a YA book that my oldest daughter suggested and I am enjoying it. It's not my cup of tea but it is an interesting book and it is well-written.

So, things are progressing and looking up.

Have a good week. Thanks for reading and keep writing.

Borders

I was feeling sorry for myself today.

I took an online survey that Borders sent to me __ they promised it would only take 15 minutes and it took nearly 40. But I also got a 20 percent off coupon __ and it listed a couple dozen authors and asked what, as a reader, I thought about each. I hadn’t even heard of some of them.

But the common thread, of course, was that they are published and ae currently in bookstores. One book on addiction was nearly exactly the book I intended to tackle in the future, probably next year. (More on the reason why at another time.)

And once again I felt the weight of the challenge before me __ the challenge of getting published. Sometimes it feels like a burden I will never overcome.

But I noticed I got a comment from a blog posting from earlier this week and I felt better. And now, for the first time today, I have time to work on my next second novel, the murder mystery. I found both of those encouraging.

So this is the path I have chosen. That is to write fiction and to get published, and hopefully to make a living at it. I just have to have faith and keep at it. And so must you.

Thanks for reading and be encouraged. And keep writing!

Feeling sad

I was feeling a little down this evening. I was at the bookstore __ I love bookstores, by the way. I go to the bookstore several times a week, even if I'm not going to buy something __ and noticed a nice black-covered book with a gold statute (did I spell that correctly?) on it. It was a murder mystery around the Oscars. Quite timely, don't you think?

It was interesting and I picked it up and read some of it while I sat in the coffee shop. Ultimately I didn't buy it, although I think I will in a week or so. But it was by a first-time author and it looked good and was interesting. And I thought, why can't that happen to me?

I wrote a nice book. It seems readable. Saleable. Why can't it be in bookstores?

I don't know how long it took for the author to get published but the ordeal of getting an agent and then getting published is a pain in the ass, it seems to me. I wish it were all done and then I could concentrate more heavily on my second novel. (I'm still thinking the novel starts too slowly but the important thing now is to get it all on paper and fix that later, if I still think it needs it.)

But, like I said a month ago, I think this is going to be my year. January is gone but it is only the first month. Things are going to look up. I just need to stay positive, work hard and be ready for whatever comes.

So, I have to get back to work. And you should, too. Write!

"Fighting Chaos" and discouragement

I have to be honest today. I feel discouraged. Not enough to quit writing, of course. Only death or mental disability will do that. It’s just that as 2007 closes out, I feel like I am working harder than ever but not moving forward.

I sent out a query letter this morning for my novel “Fighting Chaos” and am considering who to query next. And I remembered reading a delightful magazine article a couple of months ago on an agent named Penn Whaling. (Sounds very Eastern Establishment WASP but I don’t hold a person’s ethnic or racial background against them. After all, they didn’t pick it.) She works for the Ann Rittenberg Literary Agency.

I went to the agency’s website and saw that Ms Rittenberg published a book last year called “Your First Novel.” In it, she and a published author wrote about writing and getting published. It sounded good and I ordered the book. And on the agency’s website, Ms Rittenberg also suggested a new, aspiring author might consider, among other things, taking an online workshop on writing and publishing. (Rittenberg only accepts snail mail queries, which is good because I need to do more research on the agency before I decide to send a query there.)

Her advice is all good and I am considering a Gotham Writers Workshop course on getting published.

But what is discouraging is there is still so much to learn and still, according to Gotham, “. . . no sure path or magic formula for publication.” I know that. But how do I discern which path to take and when to take it? There is so much advice out there, much of it conflicting, and until someone inside the industry takes you under their wing, it seems like you are destined to remain at the window looking into the candy store. I don’t know how to break through. For all that I have learned, I don't feel like I have moved forward very much.

I know this post is a bit of a downer. After I’m finished, I think I will just go upstairs and sit in the bath and read for a while. But what I won’t do is give up. 2008 is going to be a great year. I just know it. My job is to be as prepared for it as possible.

So thanks for reading and remember, keep writing!