Reading

When I was a child, I wasn't a good reader. And as I grew older and my reading ability and comprehension improved, I became very self-conscious about reading aloud. I always feared I would come across a word I didn't know and would be embarrassed. While I was in college, I refused to read aloud in English class.

Some time later I attended a church in which during Bible study we would take turns reading verses aloud. When I knew my turn was coming, I would silently read ahead and search for all the names I knew I'd have a hard time with. It is for that reason that I prefer the New Testament __ fewer difficult names.

I am still self-conscious about reading aloud, although I am willing to do it. When I read, it generally is with little infliction because mouth is several seconds behind my eyes and my mind, which are looking ahead for any difficult passages. With several seconds of lead time, I can work around some word with which I am unfamiliar.

I mention all this because I am self-conscious even if I am reading my own writing. If I ever get a book published, I can imagine having some reading and being so nervous about it ahead of time that I can barely go on. It would be better to just memorize vast portions of text and pretend to read them.

Reading your work aloud is good, however. I just spent the better part of an hour reading two chapters to my wife. Hearing your work read aloud helps you with pacing and in developing a true sense for how people will preceive it. There can be troublesome words or phases that you just don't pick up on without hearing your work aloud.

So find a good friend or loved one and read your work to them. Self-conscious or not, it will help.

Thanks for reading and keep writing.

It's time again

I am in particularly good spirits today, which is good because my last posting was a bit of a downer. I am playing the main theme from "The Legend of Bagger Vance" and thinking about what I did just an hour ago.

I sent out a query letter via e-mail. And now I am in that period before any rejection letters where I have all the hope for the future and all the possibilities it brings. It's a wonderful feeling.

I think the novel looks good at just a hair under 80,000 words and the top is complete and ready for an agent to see. I continue working on rewriting the rest to sharpen its focus.

But for now, the world is in front of me and I'm looking forward to what comes next. Regardless of what responses I get when I jump full swing into querying, I am not giving up on my writing. I will probably start my next novel in August and certainly by September, even if I am still querying for Jungle-bunny.

So that's it for now. I have to run.

Thanks for reading and keep writing.

The prospect of facing rejections

I am a bit depressed today and worried. And yet in a short time I must gird up my loins for the assault on my ego. Rejections.
I hate rejections and I don't take them well. I know you are not suppose to take them personally but I often do. I got a rejection for some freelance work today. I was surprised. I hadn't expected it. I will sure I would get some work. But sorry, Charlie.
And I took it like a man -- or more appropriately, like a professional. Like the professional that I am. I e-mailed a thank you back to them for considering me although I wanted to tell them to just go fuck off.
So now I am playing "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" over and over, depressed and sad, and contemplating my fiction and what's coming next.
I e-mailed an author friend today who is in my critique group and asked for some help with my query letter. She said just submit it with my other material when my turn comes up again in the group. But that won't be for another TWO FREAKIN' MONTHS. I have worked on this query for about two months and I have no intention of waiting another two months before I send out some queries.
I feel like I have labored so long and hard, and that I'm still lost somewhere in a forest with no one to turn to. It's depressing. I don't know what to do.
I love to escape into my stories, reading and rereading over and over again the parts that I love, such as the scene in "Death at the Jungle-bunny Journal" where it is revealed who Charlotte is. Or in "Fighting Chaos" when Brewster meets with his old buddy in the FBI.
But I can't just live in the past in those stories. I must move forward. I just don't know how best to do that. And all the while I keep playing "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" because it is sad and it's how I feel.
I think fiction is my future. I certainly hope so. I hope I am ready for it when it comes.
In the meantime, thanks for reading. And don't give up on writing.

Querying agents

As I face the prospect once again of querying agents, I will also face the issue of whether to approach agents in medium-sized agencies, which will more likely handle my aspiring career with care, or shoot for an agent with a big agency, who could probably get me a larger advance.



First off, at the moment any good agent would do. I don't know whetherit was me, my writing, the circumstances, my genre or what that resulted in the miserable response I got over the winter for "Fighting Chaos." Perhaps in time, I will try again with that novel. It is a good and entertaining story and I am particularly close to it.



But "Death at the Jungle-bunny Journal" is a totally different book. It is a mystery where "Chaos" is a suspence/thriller. I think the mystery market is much larger.



But that gets me back to smaller agency vs. larger agency.



On the one hand, I really need a strong professional to help guide my career, and not just with this one book. Having someone who will help guide and mentor me will be a vast help. I am new to publishing, which is a rough industry, I can see. Having someone who can ground me and help me improve my writing and position in the industry will be crucial for the future.



But then there is the appeal of a large agency. There were several agencies I remember from my research over the fall and winter that nearly bragged about getting six-figure advances. I don't know if a large advance is a possibility with "Jungle-bunny" but the prospect a some financial security is appealing. Assuming I can find and hook and agent and that the agent can sale the book, more income would provide me greater flexibilty to work on future projects.



By this weekend, I will start compiling a list of agents to query. I don't know which way I will tilt. I doubt my chances of getting an agent will be any better one way or the other. That would be too easy. It would make my decision for me. In the end, it will depend on how far I want to go and how soon I want to get there.



I will have to keep you posted.



Thanks for reading and keep writing.

Re-write

I have completely gone through the novel and have started the re-write. I reads well but there are still a couple of problems, mostly dealing with research. I am having a particularly hard time with asthma __ the symtoms and what causes an asthma attack.

I have several friends, including one author, who are going to read the book. And I plan to send it to them in the next week. Two are from out of town __ including one in England __ so they will get it via e-mail. The last person, the author, is local and we will probably get together in a local coffee shop or bookstore.

I am still very nervous about the book. Is it any good? Is it interesting? How well is the story told?

I know I must sound like a Nervous Nellie but I can't shake it. I haven't developed a good sense of perspective and I wonder if I ever will.

I have started writing down little notes regarding the next novel. It will use the same main character as is in "Death at the Jungle-bunny Journal," Jason Crown, but it will be set in Philadelphia where he will be attending an NABJ convention. And, like I think I mentioned before, the story will evolve around art at the Barnes Foundation in suburban Philly.

I haven't decided who the villian is yet so I have much work to do. And there is a lot of research I will need to finish on the Barnes Foundation, although I have some background in that area having previously written about and having visited the Barnes.

Keep writing and thanks for reading.

On being worried

I finished the first draft of my murder mystery yesterday, and I am excited and ready to get back to work on it. I am truly ready to start looking for an agent and I can't do that until the first couple of chapters have been worked over more.

I saw a fellow writer today during a booksigning and she reminded me I should let the novel rest for a while, one or two weeks, and come back to it with fresh eyes. But I generally lack that level of perspective. I doubt I will have that sort of perspective for months if not years. And I can't wait that long.

Is it any good? I have not earthly idea. How is the writing? I don't know. There are some sentences I particularly like __ (It said less than she intended and more than he expected.) Or (Life was no easier for the modern-day inhabitants of the houses than it had been for those generations earlier, except now they could watch their betters on stolen large screen televisions hooked up to illegal cable.) Or (She was followed by five other women whose varying body types made it impossible for any of them to look good in their dresses.) __ but is it possible to like every sentence? I don't know.

Is the story any good and do I give it justice? I don't know.

Those are all worries but there isn't much I can do about them. I just want to get back to having my hands in the middle of the novel. So I just might print it out tomorrow morning and start. Will that help? Will reading it straight through now and charging back into it then improve it? Who knows. I just know I am ready to get on with it.

At least I will be re-writing instead of writing. Oh well . . .

There are just a few random thoughts. Don't let it stop you from writing.

Good luck and thanks for reading.

It is finished

I finished the first draft of "Death at the Jungle-bunny Journal" yesterday evening at 6:35. It is 73,000 words, which is 7,000 less than I originally thought it would be. I know I should let it sit for about a week or so before I touch it again but I am excited and will probably print it out on Monday and start my first complete read through.

It has several problems and several places where I need to complete some research. And the was rushing at the end and I fear the final parts that I wrote are pretty rough if not downright dreadful. But it is completed.

After I clean it up a little in the next couple of weeks, I will have a couple of people read through it. But first I need to research how many times I used the word "that" in the novel and probably eliminate at least half of them straightaway. I am also sure I have too many commas.

But all in all, I am proud of myself. I got it done.

I will probably cut about 7,000 to 8,000 words in the first run through but as I fix the problems another 5,000 to 7,000 words will probably be added. We will have to see about that later.

For now, Jungle-bunny is done. Next the real work begins.

Thanks for reading. And don't give up.