Jealousy

I sometimes get jealous this time of year. Not a lot -- enough to get my attention but not enough to distract my concentration. It's kinda like a bothersome fly buzzing around your head as you are trying to enjoy a picnic lunch.

I get jealous because I get tons of e-mails from big bookstore chains and small, local independent bookstores imploring me to come in and buy some new offering by some author. And it just reminds be -- at least once daily, but generally more often than that -- that I am still an aspiring novelist, not a published or even a pre-published novelist. And I wonder, when it is going to be my turn -- when bookstores are sending out discount coupons for my book?

(And for those of you who aren't in the publishing industry and may not know, a new book marked with a 40 percent discount is still making money for the retailer for an individual copy sold. The retailer got the book for AT LEAST 45 percent off the printed retail price. And big retailers get it for as much as 55 percent off the marked retail price.)

I'm doing the best I can here. I study the industry, I write (and re-write) my novels, I send out queries. I wonder why lightning hasn't struck me yet.

I know a couple of debut authors this year, and a couple more who will debut in 2011. And I am so happy for and proud of them. They are a constant source of encouragement.

And yet I wonder, will 2011 be my year? Will I get that call -- first from an agent and then from a publisher -- some time next year? I don't know. But I know I must believe it will happen and work toward that goal.

So, I will work on the things I can control and trust in God to handle fate. It's all I can do.

I have a few writing goals for 2011 and will probably tell you about them in the coming weeks. But for now, it's only four days until Christmas. I gotta get down to Borders to use than 40 percent discount I got via e-mail.

Thanks for reading and don't give up.